I AIN’T GOT NO MONEY!

We are going to learn how to be a broke ventriloquist and be good at it.you are so broke you took a penny out your pocket and Abraham Lincoln was wearing sunglasses, you’re so broke your kitchen refrigerator is boney.yes say out loud I am a broke ventriloquist! If you don’t have money for a ventriloquist figure,I will give you some tips and notes on how you can still be a broke ass ventriloquist and be a good one.first let’s think about what can your broke ass use for entertaining a audience,…puppet,you can draw a face on your hands and use your hands for your stage partner, your hands will not cost you anything,.. voice,if you practice and study far ventriloquism which is also called the distant voice you can use vocal illusion for a magic trick or show,also study vocal magic or magic with your voice.. voice,you can have a conversation with a voice inside a trunk or shoebox,also the telephone voice is a little lower than the distance voice if you learn the telephone voice you can have a telephone conversation with a voice that seems to speaking from the phone, another one is called the baby cry,I did the baby cry effect many times,I hold a baby that’s crying in a blanket on stage in front of a audience and no matter what I do the baby will not stop crying, so I throw the blacket with the baby inside high up in the air the empty blanket lands on the stage floor,..sounds, if you can make different animal sounds, you can create some routines using animal sounds,I had a cat inside a box “meow” but when I open the box,the box was empty,..audience volunteer, the human dummy is a very popular ventriloquist bit,where a real person stand next to the ventriloquist, every time the ventriloquist tap the back of the person neck the person open their mouth with out making a sound and the ventriloquist provide the voice… you’re walking on stage when a voice says ouch! get off me!! you look down at your feet and a voice says you are standing on top of me, you take your shoes off and put your socks on your hands,now you’re singing with a sock puppet…the thing about be a broke ventriloquist is that you need to study, practice, rehearsal and rehearsal, be creative and you will make up the differences with out money,but I do want to say you should grow as you advance,this means if you start off using your sock as a stage partner that sock should become better and better, you may always be a broke ass ventriloquist but you will be very good at being one.

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(I am a broke ass ventriloquist with no show in my business) these notes are based on getting your broke ass some shows.. first you need to pull pockets inside out to make sure it’s not a penny in there, next open your wallet and start counting,not dollars bills but I.O.U. bills. let’s start with appearance, your appearance as a broke ass ventriloquist is very important,you may not have money for brand new clothes so buy a second hand or find a outfit that you can wear just for show business,nice pants,nice shoes,nice shirt and even a nice jacket,keep this outfit in a clear clean bag on a hanger,keep a low price bottle of perfume or body freshener, have a shaving kit available, mouth wash and so on. if you are so broke of a ventriloquist that you can not get any show bookings with business cards and fliers,what you need to do is start at the bottom,and this would be creating your own shows,how? by standing on the street corner,no dummy! not that! I am talking about becoming a street performer, being a street performer is a good way to start from the bottom and work your way up, some places to be a street performer you need a permit and permits cost money but your broke ass don’t have any money,so you need to find your own spot, usually where people go shopping or travel or gather, choose a spot or location or street where you can build your audience,now remember this your broke ass is trying to build an audience,why? because you big dummy you don’t want to be a broke ass ventriloquist anymore,so being at this spot at the same time on a chosen day is very important, let’s say Sunday from nine a.m. to ten a.m. you will be there doing your ventriloquist act,also remember being a street artist your appearance is very important and your attitude towards your gathering crowd is very important, so please have a good attitude,next have a tip jar so people that enjoy your performance can drop a tip or donation in the jar,after the show is over you should be dreaming about someday your ventriloquist act growing bigger and bigger,enjoy your street spot,keep it clean before and after your street performance.. ventriloquist Otto and George started out as street performers and today he’s world known,he is my favorite next to Megan piphus and Edgar Bergen.maybe you should become a student of ventriloquist Otto and George,he was a very raunchy ventriloquist but he is the master of street artist ventriloquists,also another street artist ventriloquist is the on the train ventriloquist with hot chocolate, you may want to become a student also.. keep in mind Starting out as a broke ass ventriloquist has potential.